Just thought i should do a blog with some real meaning instead of whinning and bitching about meaningless shit like everyone else.you all know what it's about, him THE TILL. But that's old news nnow so lets just forget about that last comment. thats all I got , oh yeah graduating in 4 days, yay for me :( Atreyu Lip Gloss And Black lyrics If I gave you pretty enough words - could you paint a picture of us that works - an emphasis on function rather than design - aren't you tired cause I will carry you - on a broken back and blown out knees - I have been where you are for a while. Aren't you tired of being weak? - Such rage that you could scream - all the stars right out of the sky - And destroy the prettiest starry night - every evening that I die. I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold - I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold - I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold - I am exhumed just a little less human. after all these images of pain - have cut right thru you - I will kiss every scar - and weep - you are not alone - then I'll show you that place in my chest where my heart still tries to beat - it still tries to beat. Aren't you tired of being weak? - Such rage that you could scream - all the stars right out of the sky - And destroy the prettiest starry night - every evening that I die. live,love,burn,die - live,love,burn,die - live,love,burn,die - live,love,burn,die.

  Don't know how but I somehow managed to talk Till into going to prom with me, YAY! I be really happy, for once in a long time. Watching Dawn Of The Dead, theres a drunk dude on t.v. he's talking to a fish! lol.. he's also losing his mind. he's gonna eat a gold fish!... funny shit right there. Anywho, not much else to say right now. gotta go . LATER.

 been too long to remember what its like... got two more tattoos on my feet about 2 weeks after i got my kanji theyre two music notes one on each foot, a bass cleft on the left and a treble on the right.  getting my nipples peirced on saturday. still hopelessly in lust/love with guess fucking who, oh.. your good. yeah well thats the way it goes...  like 3 months away from graduating from Highschool  and moving onto bigger better things (lol) yeah right... grades are meh, but whos arent?... thats all i got for now...
                           later

 Hey y'all, been a long time since i've stopped by, I did my finals today, I think they went okay. I did algebra1a and Language arts, they went fine. the new semester starts on Monday I have Algebra1b first period, Aide second period, and I have Language Arts B third period, then I get out of school.

 uhh, I really dont have much else to say for now, so uhh check ya later, bye

 So I turned 18 on december 5th and got a tattoo this last saturday, its the japanese (kanji) symbol for strength on the back of my neck, I like , so domost others, getting another one somewgere, of something, later this month, I love being 18.

  Lonely, depressed, confused.... the same old shit day after day, but who really gives a flying fuck anyways right?. Just wish it would become a possiblity to be loved back for once or for the other person not to die IE: kill themselves so soon after the fact.


 Lennon/APC Dreamer " You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one,I hope that someday some day you'll   join us, and the world will live as one" Just thought I would add that little side note for those of you that actually care.


 Gosh wouldnt it be nice if everyone would just be happy with what they got?, I wish I could be happy with what I got , probably never will be, but hey, who cares right?.


 And now A song for those other dreamers out there:


    
  

   I have recently come to the conclusion that that I do not mind being a fuck buddy, not at all, but what i do mind is being used. I know that being a fuck buddy means no emotional connections, and I don't want that, but I feel used when I willing give my body with no emotional connection on his side and some left on mine and He can't even find it in him to spoon for like 3 mins afterwards....
 Now this may just be me, but I need some sort of security even if I'm being used.


  I  have made a decison that I am going to drop my fuck buddy soon and just end it and try to either stay single or try it one last time with my ex-bf. ..I may just go for the latter when I go to visit him over winter break.But who the hell knows eh?.


  Maybe I'm just not   meant to be  loved, I do think that it is a possibility , I mean why the hell else would everyone else I love leave me and give me the jack ass es left over who beat the shit out of me or use me?. Well that's about all I got for a while, I need time.

                                                      TINY

  My most recent read has been a book that is a compilation of musicians poems and thoughts while on the road , I would like to share with you all two of my favorite poems in this book and maybe I will share with you as to why I like them so much.....



BEHIND THE SMILES

The staples in my eyes,

The nails in my wings keep me from flying too high,

I'm choking on my words

pathetic imitations,

surrounding you and I,

Take my mask and this disguise,

I won't try and hide behind all the smiles,

My plate is full of knives,

Biting on the blades and choking on the lies,

My wings are made of wax,

If the sun burns them away will I fall out of the sky?

Chris Martinez (Plans For revenge)


   If you can't see the plain reasoning for why I like this one so much, you either don't know me or your just plain too damn stupid to read between the lines. Now let's try this one more time and see if you can get it right this time.



NYLON

She is the last verse in a thousand bitter love songs,

Torn from paper sung into void,

She's the last call when I aint even numb yet,

She's a creepin' flame up my leg,

When all I wanted was a warm night,

alone.

She comes just when I need her to,

But she never knows when to,

Quit.

She calls herself the apocolypse to my new red hope,

yet she offers no misfortune,

When she shows up at my door,

She's everything, and everywhere I look,

In lipstick red suicide pumps,

Watching in silent gaze,

At the matchstick boy,

Ablaze.

Jason Cruz (strung Out)

For this one change the she's to he's and it might make just a tid bitmore sesne, if you relay it to my F*** buddy in reference to the second. This might work it might not, but hey whatever is the word of his choice.


Okay all, I have said my word for the day and I hope it makes some bit of sense but if it doesnt it is kind of easy to understand seeing as how I must be trivial in most accounts of my entries, have a good night and I love ya all.

                                                     *~TINY~*